erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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