Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
