What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
