sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Fuck appropriateness.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
