i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
