Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
