Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
