Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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