Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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