if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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