omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
no you cant smoke seaweed
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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