just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
