My boss' voice literally gives me gas
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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