Just cropdusted the office
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
