Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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