He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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