i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
