The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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