So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize