I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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