If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Randomize
