Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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