Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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