Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize