wakey wakey hands off snakey
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
