oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
that is very illegal...i love you.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
