nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
