What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
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