i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
