I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
