She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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