I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
