Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
