Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
