i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
