I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize