just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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