I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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