party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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