I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize