Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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