with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
