you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
