can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
