She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
