I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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