Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
