I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
