GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
