Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I want to fling myself into the sun
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
