Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
