Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
