I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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