you win again, gameday.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I believe in your delicious
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
