oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
