So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
