I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
