Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
