The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
