woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
