is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
